Not so easy

I hate being fat. I hate that this isn't just easy. I hate that no one reads this
.... I really love runsforcookies (Katie's blogs) she has touched so many people's life's. I really wish and hope one day I can do the same.
I want to make an impact somewhere.
I want to....
I will...one day.

Figured out why

Well today starts all over again ... but I figured out why I'm falling.... I haven't worked in a week and I get bored depressed disappointed and I eat
I binged last night too. But this morning I through all left over chips in trash. I'm watch biggest loser reruns and thinking I CAN DO THAT I know I can. Something has to change. Starting today I will walk 3 miles to work.

Lets be honest

I have binged and ate and stuffed my face for the last 3 weeks. I never even started working to get to the 215 goal so I could get a new razor. In fact u gained 5 lbs... but I am determined to lose something by the time the trip to Iowa comes up. And today is day 1. Wish me luck this road is harder than I thought.

Day two down 17 to go

One thing I'm bummed about is the.fact that I haven't exercised in 4 days.
But day 2 of my "diet" 17 to go. I got a sweet tooth drank some hazelnut coffee.
We booked the hotel in Brunswick so it is official.
I have to get a mirror so I can get before pics. I am waiting for someone to notice but I guess no one has. I wonder when or at what amount lost will people start being able to TELL a difference .... honestly I can't either.  Well back to work I go ...

New short goal.... or a few

Well planned the 3 day 2 night family trip to Hilton Head. I am freaking excited!!!! Only 17 days to go. I'm starting at 228 and I would like to be ( as stated before) as close to 215 as possible.
I have been doing this since October and in 5 months I have only lost 30 lbs. You know how usually when people first lose weight they lose a significant amount...that never really happened to me. But then again I never did it seriously. I changed how I ate and recently started going to the gym.
Instead of actually worrying about what the scale says. I'm going to count down the days. 
I want to do low carb (yeah its silly) til April 20 after my weekend of fun I will figure out what to do diet wise then.
I want to get as many gym days in that I can. No red box movies...or going out to eat. (Gotta save money)
I'm scared to set a running goal...
If I can do half a mile now.....well I'm going to work on a mile but if I for some reason don't make it I'm not going to let myself get down about it.
My reward isn't for losing such amount of weight but for staying on track. I would write more blogs but working two jobs trying to get gym time in....I'm out as soon as I lay down. I will try and blog more though.