Epic fail....

Back to the drawing bored in the a.m. I even have the alarm on. No more sleeping in.

Disappointed

U really don't know what u expected after yesterday ...there is + on the scale....maybe cause its late in the day....or water retention ...
But can't think of the name...but I'm not going to take it. No I'm not going to take it. No I'm not going to take it any more!
Goal
To wear sexy shoes...why? Cause I would like to be wearing sexy shoes with a sexy dress. :)

So maybe i pigged out today

... but for what its worth I ate a salad and cabbage and Collards and a small piece of Ham and and some pieces if sausage ... I really stayed away from breads and fried foods. I did have a part of a roll and like 2 small fried shrimp and....dessert

I probably only feel. Bad because that was the most carbs. I
Had in 4 days...but that will be all I eat...its already 6:30 usually I will eat breakfast Lunch....snack...and since I'm working till 1 am something. Then too. I eat when I'm hungry.

So tomorrow is another day.

Lets say my start weight is 250 (which means I am having to RElose 20lbs. Fun.

What's more fun? How about progress pictures!

And in 1 month I will do more...stay tune for measurements tomorrow.

Something to write about

Now I held off on the weight loss clinic...till August
But today will be day 3 of doing low Carb. Yes I know its a fad diet. But 4 years ago I started losing weight and I lost 15 lbs in 2 weeks on the diet. Then I started doing my own thing got a job and as I lost weight I became more confident. But somewhere I hit a plateau at 50lbs down....which I kept off for a long time. Like 2 years....then there was some family problems. And depression ...and I gained 57 lbs in NO time.....
I get so ashamed I want no one to see me...and to be honest that's part of the reason I'm skipping my 10yr high school reunion.   120 lbs heavier is not how I want people to remember me at.
Man. I'm watching a biggest loser episode rerun...and I'm ready to cry! And nothings happened yet! Maybe cause I know I could do that if I set my mind to it. I should use my kinect game.

So this is day 3. I need to get pictures and a weigh in.
I commend people who can do this on their own but at this point I need to hold myself responsible to someone besides myself...and someone to push me over the hump if I run into it again and that's why I chose the hcg clinic.
But this is it. I know a year from now me today will be a product of my past. I can I will.

Good by size 20
Good by belly buldge
Good bye hiding

Hello family photo
Hello trying a 5k

Talked To lady from HCG clinic

Happy 4th EVeryone ... 4 may days of work to go (that would complete my 11 day straight at WH)  but I made the appointment for next tuesday. I still have to look at my finances... I may have to just reschedule. I dont know. Wish me luck... I'm sure once I start I will be documenting more.

We will see

I know its no excuse. I am terrible at this whole blogging thing... Maybe its because I work 2 jobs and try to be a family mom so any free time I have is spending time with my family....
Maybe its because I just havent been doing the right thing so I'm ashamed...
Maybe because I know its cause no one reads this so whats the point....

Maybe I dont have anything to write about.   Who wants to hear. 

".... Yes went to work today (again)  clean my old peoples house with the cats... (no i didnt use the cats to clean the house the old people has cats.... and an abundant of them ... enough to mention on here) then I went home at child for a min..... then I went to work at my other job WAFFLE HOUSE!!!! WHATS UP WAFFLE HOUSE GOERS THATS RIGHT!   and lets see.... I had a WHOLE WHOOPING 10 thats right TEN customers in 7 hours.... then I went home and did nothing till I went to bed.... which isnt entirely true. But I didnt do enough to write a book about it....."

I also am looking into weightloss help.

I research some on the WW sight.... And it just seems to be a pain in the ass (and there isnt but 1 meeting once a week on a monday and 6pm.... )  Just doesnt seem worth it to me.

I really am thinking about going to the hcg clinc that open up near me.  299 down 69 every two week till its paid off....which is close to 800....  but its like so many weeks of dieting and life style changing and weighing in and what not then a full year of maintence..... i think financially thats more up my ally then weight watchers. and once its paid off its paid off... unlike WW where EVERY MONTH its so much a month.

Not to mention maybe being a manditory payment which pays for the whole program maybe I would be more opt to go.... where as if I went to weight watchers I most likely would find it an inconvincionce financially at some point in time and quit....

well thats that

disapointment

Ihate writing on here because I have nothing to show for anything. I am terrible. I lost 30lb and.... probably gained most of it back. (last i check i alrady gained half of it back).... All I keep doing is stuffing my fattty face. I start to "diet" or eat better for break fast..... and then by lunch I screw it up. I blame it on working at WAFFLE HOUSE....  I see other peoples food....and I want it.....SOOOO bad. Waffles...mmm....the smell of a waffle as it cooks.  Or some raisin toast (which i really dont like but some times i want it)  OR SOME HASH BROWNS   Smothered Double Covered Chunked Peppered...with som ranch... Peacan pie...  and my new vice... Pork Chop with wochstershire (whatever how ever you spell it) sauce.  I feel so full and bloated.  and ..... the later into the sumer....the later I wake up.   Ofcourse working the crazy hours I work doesnt help.

I miss going to the gym... I miss....feeling motivated .... I wish I had a partner who was motivated and just want to do this together.... I work well like that....or make a friendly battle.... I am almost thinking about doing weight watchers....or PHC or what ever.... I am desprate... I feel I need help right at this point.... I need some kind of a goal... or jump start.  The farther I get off track ....The worse I feel and the less motivated I become.

Help  =/