disapointment

Ihate writing on here because I have nothing to show for anything. I am terrible. I lost 30lb and.... probably gained most of it back. (last i check i alrady gained half of it back).... All I keep doing is stuffing my fattty face. I start to "diet" or eat better for break fast..... and then by lunch I screw it up. I blame it on working at WAFFLE HOUSE....  I see other peoples food....and I want it.....SOOOO bad. Waffles...mmm....the smell of a waffle as it cooks.  Or some raisin toast (which i really dont like but some times i want it)  OR SOME HASH BROWNS   Smothered Double Covered Chunked Peppered...with som ranch... Peacan pie...  and my new vice... Pork Chop with wochstershire (whatever how ever you spell it) sauce.  I feel so full and bloated.  and ..... the later into the sumer....the later I wake up.   Ofcourse working the crazy hours I work doesnt help.

I miss going to the gym... I miss....feeling motivated .... I wish I had a partner who was motivated and just want to do this together.... I work well like that....or make a friendly battle.... I am almost thinking about doing weight watchers....or PHC or what ever.... I am desprate... I feel I need help right at this point.... I need some kind of a goal... or jump start.  The farther I get off track ....The worse I feel and the less motivated I become.

Help  =/